Sales Rank: 1186


Features:

Block is 10" x 14" x 1"

Ideal for slicing and serving roasts and poultry

Laminated of beautiful birchwood

Sealed with food-grade mineral oil so it won't dry out

Rubber feet on the bottom hold the board in place

Average Rating:
Rating: - Perfect Complement to a Sightless Kitchen
I maintain a sightless kitchen since the happenstance that robbed me of my ability to see. Yes, I'm a blind architect--and, in my private life, a blind cook as well. I tried many, many cutting boards. Cutting boards with tactile surfaces in which I could feel each yawning crevice where my mighty blade had carved the record of its path through a soft, yielding tomato or a difficult but ultimately vanquished carrot. This is the record that the cutting board left me: the record of my fingers. Then one day I was rushed to the hospital: the doctors later said that I'd contracted e.coli 0934a(e) from those faithful crevices, and my old board went out the door. Cooking seemed to be impossible--I'm one of those chefs who, if I can't Chop! Chop!, am uninterested in the project. Let others slap chicken filets into a pan or sprinkle herbs de provence over their sauteed spaghetti...I want to feel fruits, vegetables, and bony meats yield under the steady and unrelenting pressure of my cold steel blade. My wife noticed my depression and began napping throughout the course of the day, waking only to urge me to walk the dog. But then someone "hipped" me to the Henckels Birch Cutting Board. My gosh--it was as if I could see again. I began chopping everything in sight. Carrots, potatoes, zucchini, some old pasty stuff I felt around for on the bottom shelf of the fridge, soon I'd chopped up everything in the house, including some old hand-me-downs we'd been keeping around and a couple of pieces of furniture I didn't particularly like because I was always tripping over them. I think I can say with full confidence that the Henckels Birch Cutting Board saved my sanity--and my life.

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Rating: - Now I must away to gird up my loins; now I chop for FREEDOM!
How does such a think happen?

Yes, he is a critic...one who criticizes, and yet he is a man. To be caged, forced to cut nonorganic vegetables or worse yet organic vegetables steeped in man-manure.

No, he is NOT a critic. Is merely the act of criticizing enough to label one a critic? As well to call a man a homosexual for having sex occasionally with other men!

Nine! This will not stand. I feel great shame to have so callously labelled him so, but it compares not at all to the shame we would all feel if poor Julia were allowed to continue as yet another serf of the notorious Cin-Q, who of course happens to have once been known as Halimous Ferme, my old archrival from my days as a freelance lobotomist!

Tonight the machineguns will chatter! I choose to live out my remaining years in one last burst of glory, as my fathers before did during the great unifying war for the glory of Greater Germany!

If only the sons of Henckels yet lived, we would once again ride forth together to victory; alas they are gone now and I knoa my fate...I can but hope with my last breath I free this innocent from the vile clutches of culinary communism.

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Rating: - IT'S ME, THE WAY I WANT IT, THE WAY I SEE IT
To those who would bear the hopes and dreams of our people, let the tragic report of their chopping express the words of freedom!

Mom, Dad--I would like to comment on your efforts to supposedly secure my safety. The produce giveaway was a total sham. The vegetables were rotten, and discolored. The cutlery provided to the underprivileged was of a decidedly inferior grade. Sub-Ginsu. NOT ACCEPTABLE!

You corporate liars. Of course you'll say that you don't know what I'm talking about. Perhaps you've never seen a little brown child trying to make aioli, or to shave ginger for homemade sushi. You fill your belly with the pure products of bourgeois consumerist fascism here in bourgeois consumerist fascist Amerikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkka, while the red, brown, and yellow children of the ghetto are forced to chop with inferior blades on slabs of plywood.

Tell the people: that the corporate state is, with the aid of JA Henckels and the Wusthof gang, about to totally automate the chopping folkways of the People. Tell them: if they don't want it minced or liquefied, they're out of luck! In the next five years, all that will be needed will be a small class of Button Pushing co-opted fascist automatons. Tell them, Dad. Tell them! Tell them that the removal of expendable excess, the removal of unneeded people has ALREADY STARTED!

HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE before those who control the means of shredding or otherwise reducing foodstuffs into smaller and more digestible particles realize--whatever happens to a black child happens sooner or later to a white child.

I have taken the name Julia after a comrade who taught herself the art of French cookery in the years before the white-suited fascist Cuisinart took over. I embrace the name with the determination to continue fighting with her spirit!

All colors of string in the web of humanity yearn for freedom!

DEATH TO FASCIST CUISINE! ALL POWER TO THE MIGHTY CHOPPING OF THE PEOPLE! PATRIA O MUERTE! VENCEREMOS!